Believe me, I know how hard it is to let it go, and I don’t even know if cautionary tales from other people will make any difference to you at this point. I will tell you this, though – I’ve now been separated from my husband for a year, and I don’t think there are any prospects for a reconciliation (I was the one who had the affair). I have lost, forever, the intact family situation I tried so hard to create (I now see my daughter half-time). My marriage was deeply flawed, and I really don’t know if it would have been possible to salvage it. But I will never know whether it was those flaws that essentially ended things, or the way I handled them (trying to have my emotional needs met through the affair). It complicates the grieving process. Anyway, I wish you well, whatever you end up doing.